Painted Words
by yamaguchi-tadashi
Summary: It was said that no one knew Italy's past, but the exception to that sad truth is Prussia, the country that is no more. He knows, and he wishes he didn't. He wishes it had never happened, and he wishes he can someday be happy, like the mask that Italy wears. But the one stopping all that from happening is the one he falls for. (Second part to Broken Smiles) PruCan.
1. Chapter 1

He was empty.

He was drowning in unshed tears.

He was sorry for what he had done, and yet he couldn't stop blaming himself.

His name was Gilbert. Also known as Prussia to the rest of the world, he was called 'loud', 'hyper', and, the most common, 'obnoxious'. Unknown by so many, he wasn't like that at all. He didn't want to be, but he forced himself to, putting up a mask and hiding from what he was. Not even his closest 'friends' knew the turmoil inside, and he was fine with that. Completely, awesomely fine with that.

The World Meeting was dragging on, as usual, and Prussia was hiding behind a corner, preparing a sneak attack with his new buddy, Sealand. Fireworks seemed efficient enough to interrupt his Bruder's endless drone, and that's just what Prussia and Sealand aimed to do. Another stunt to avoid suspicion and continue acting as awesome as possible. Nobody could see through his secure blanket of false confidence.

"Ready, Sea?" he whispered, laughing his laugh that so many proclaimed as 'odd'.

"You bet, desu yo!" Sealand replied, holding the Nerf gun close, nodding to the small fireworks in Prussia's hand. "You?"

"Heck yeah!" he grinned, pulling his lighter out of his back pocket. "Let's go."

They drew closer, unnoticed by the quarrelling countries. Prussia heard the yell of Switz; "Shut up, or I will beat you with my Peace prize!" Did he say that every meeting?

"You are not helping!" That was his brother.

"What did you say, you bloody frog?"

"Hon hon hon."

Those two were fighting again, and their petty insults could be heard over the ruckus caused by the rest in attendance. Prussia heard Sealand snicker beside him. "Ready, go!"

Prussia lit the firework loaded in Sealand's toy gun, and the young boy pulled back the trigger and shot it into the air, unseen before it exploded and caused what sounded like the screams of the people of Rome as it was pummeled into the ground. Gruesome simile, he knew, but that didn't stop him from thinking it. It's what he specialized in.

Sealand motioned for another explosive, and Prussia handed it to him, lighting it quickly. More screams, before people caught on that it was just Prussia and that weird England-look-alike kid. The two were laughing in their corner and failed to notice Germany and England standing there, their eyes shadowed and dangerous.

"Vhat do you zhink you are doing, Bruder?" Germany growled, making Prussia glance up and grin. His red eyes flashed in mischief as he answered.

"Celebrating, vhat does it look like?"

The blonde sighed and picked up his older brother by the collar. "Vell, stop it."

Prussia walked away with Germany, glancing back to see Sealand being scolded by the Brit. As he passed Hungary, he heard her mutter to Austria.

"Why doesn't he stop being so annoying? It would save us all a lot of energy and trouble."

He had to fight to stop the frown that wanted to surface. He knew she felt that way, and many others, but he couldn't suddenly change. This is what he had been for so long, he couldn't just make it disappear.

Or could he?

Maybe, just maybe, he could one day drop the act, show them who he really was. But then again, maybe they'd just brush it off, thinking he had finally calmed down, with quite a lot of relief from quite a few people. Nobody would think that there was anything wrong.

The albino sighed dejectedly as he brother deposited him outside the building, walking away with his back straight and his march matching that of a seasoned soldier. Prussia himself had had that walk, before the whole Holy Rome fiasco. That's what had made him this way, and would keep him like this for as long as he lived.

+Prussia POV+

I walked into the house I shared with West and went straight to my basement room, intending to stay there and think about nothing for the rest of the night. A drink or two would help, but I didn't feel up to it, and definitely didn't want a state of drunkenness to reveal anything. Geez, when did I have time to get so depressed? Something that confused the Awesome Prussia was definitely not awesome. Get rid of the thought.

A knock at my door revealed West, standing as stiff as always. "Bruder, I am going to train vith Italy for a vhile. Please do not burn zhe house down, or anyzhing close to zhat."

I laughed, fixing the smile so it looked convincing. "Don't vorry, West! You vill find the house in awesome shape vhen you come back!"

He rolled his blue eyes and walked away, fixing the wrinkles on his uniform jacket. Immediately after his departure, I returned to my frown. Italy. I wondered how he was, if he was still… that way. Where the scars still there, and did he continue to create new ones? Had he been getting better lately? Did Bruder know?

I sighed, rubbing my temple. I worried too much about the younger country. It had been my fault he started in the first place, yes, but maybe he was okay know. Maybe he was as awesome as I was.

No, doubtful. He was probably much better than I was. Saying it over and over doesn't make it true.

I wondered when thinking about my life problems had become a daily thing, almost a nightly routine. Come to think of it, I almost practiced it religiously, which could develop into an unhealthy obsession. It would be an obsession with myself, which half the world thought I had already, but this would be for an entirely different reason.

Rubbing my forehead once again, I stood and began pacing the room. I needed to get out, cheer myself up a bit. After years of self-blame and regret, I still hadn't gotten over it, and that needed to change. The happiness I saw in the faces of the other nations made me jealous, made me wish I could be that happy. But I knew.

I didn't deserve happiness.

+Germany POV+

Italy had seemed as happy as usual at the meeting today, but he had kept tugging at his sleeves, as if something was bothering. I felt the need to check on him, even if we were just allies and nothing else.

That, and an aura of something I couldn't identify had hung over the house. Was it the atmosphere between Bruder and I, or something else? I knew he thought I was overly stiff, and I thought he was an idiot, but that level of tension between us had never arisen before. Maybe it was just him, doing whatever he does, or maybe it was my worry for Italy that had caused it. I didn't know.

I arrived at Italy's place and knocked on the door, waiting for a few seconds before he pulled it open. "Ve, Doitsu!" he exclaimed, smiling happily. "Come in, I just made pasta!"

I shook my head, following the brunette inside. Maybe I had no reason to be worried about anything after all.

**A/N: Hey! I hope you liked this first chapter~ It's kinda short, and leaves a lot in the shadows, but I do hope it's to your liking! It will take a while to update, since I'm also working on No One's Laughing, but I'll try my best! Comment and favorite and stuff like that, thank you!**


	2. Chapter 2

+Canada POV+

It was a fairly normal day. A World Meeting, being invisible, eating pancakes at previously mentioned Meeting with my Emergency Syrup Bottle (ESB). Then came the fireworks. They were actually very pretty, I didn't understand what all the screaming had been about. The source of the explosions had been, of course, the small Sealand boy, and that albino, Prussia. I knew Prussia was no longer a real country, but he still attended the Meetings. I wondered why he did it, when he didn't even need to, and he seemed like the type to avoid business at all costs.

I frowned and stared at my reflection in the hallway mirror (for when Alfred was over), noticing that my hair was a mess, not to mention the curl that always stuck up. I sighed and straightened my glasses, and attempted to tame my waves of hair, but failed, as I usually did. Maybe a walk was in order… the weather might flatten it down. A completely out there idea, but it was worth a shot.

I grabbed my red coat and walked out the door, calling to Kuma… whatever his name was that I'd be home soon. A grunt of approval sounded from the living room, and I smiled, walking out the door to the cold outside world, instantly feeling a breeze ruffle my curl. I laughed and started down the street, my hands in my pockets, my lenses already fogging up. This is what I loved about my country- the crisp, clean winter air.

A few minutes later, I was out of my own territory, and walking through neutral land. Maybe I would see someone I knew. Of course, they wouldn't know me, or even see me, but it would be nice.

Who knew my wish would come true so soon, or even at all?

+Prussia POV+

Who was that blonde guy again? He wasn't America, he was the brother… The one who always carried that bear and who no one noticed. I remember Russia almost sat on him once. Maybe he would talk to me, although not many chose that as their favorite hobby. I imagined I was pretty annoying.

"Hallo! I am zhe Awesome Prussia! Who are you?" I asked loudly. He looked up, startled.

"You…" he started, then shook his head. "I mean, I'm Canada." he answered shyly. I grinned.

"Vell, Canada, now zhat we've met, we should hang out!" I proclaimed. He looked at me strangely, but I didn't care. Okay, yes I did. I cared a lot about what people thought, and most of what I realized wasn't positive. Why was he looking at me like that? Did I do something wrong? What had I said? I couldn't remember amidst the panic that was forming in my head.

"O- okay." he finally replied, and smiled. When was the last time someone had smiled at me? Well, the answer to that was simple. Before Holy Rome had died. I mean, Antonio and Francis smiled at me, but I suspected they were looking straight through me. Nobody ever really looked at me anymore. Maybe I was actually fading away.

I restored the light in my grin and laughed, resuming my walking pace. Canada hurried to fall into step beside me. "So… Um, how has your country been lately? The weather this winter has been acting up."

'I'm not a country anymore,' I wanted to say, but for some reason, I didn't want him to know. How did he not? I had thought everyone knew about my abolishment.

"It's actually quite mild out in Prussia! Ve have better vinters zhan most countries, I zhink!" I declared, one hand on my waist and the other gesturing in the air. Canada smiled again and dug his hands deeper in his pockets.

"It's pretty cold in Canada, eh? It snowed just last night."

I nodded. I had noticed, what with all the white and powdery substance covering the sides of the street. Canada seemed like such a fairy-tale country compared to what my nation once was. It was a few seconds before I realized that he was still talking.

"...reminds me of the snow. It's very nice." he finished, looking up at me expectantly.

"Um, vhat?"

"Your hair. It's color reminds me of the snow. Is it natural?"

"Um, yes, it is." Unfortunately. As a child, the color of my hair had haunted me over and over again. Before I had become a strong country, the locals had all accused me of being a product of witchcraft, a sorcerer myself, or an abomination from the devil. I was none of these, but was treated as all of them. Because of my perfectly natural albino features, I was ridiculed and tormented for decades before I finally gave up and started hiding and hanging around other nations.

"How cool, to have such a fascinating color of hair. Most of us are just blonde." Canada said, looking at the ground as he spoke.

He had no idea.

+Canada POV+

Prussia was faking, and I knew it. I had slipped up and asked how the weather was in his country, but he didn't even correct me. Maybe he had assumed I meant Germany? Oh well, that was fine. I didn't want to get on his bad side so immediately. We were walking back the way I had come, but that was okay too. I had just needed some fresh air. But now he would have farther to walk when he went home…

An awkward quiet had settled over us, and I felt we needed some actual conversation again. But what should I talk about, with someone I barely knew? Maybe he would like something I loved… but what…

"S- so, have you ever had pancakes?" I asked nervously. Would he answer? Was that a stupid question? I mean, who cared about pancakes?

"Nein. Zhey must not be very awesome, if zhe Awesome me has never had any." he scoffed. I looked up in undisguisable shock.

"You've never had pancakes?" I almost shouted, if I had had the lung capacity to shout. What kind of person had never had pancakes, then call them 'not very awesome'?

He looked down, his red eyes wide and surprised, but that nearly instantly turned to his usual grin. "Mein Gott, you are passionate about zhese pancake zhings. Vhere can I find some?"

I knew what I had to do. "Come with me." I demanded, quickening my pace and practically flying back to my house.

Everyone needed pancakes.


	3. Chapter 3

+Prussia POV+

Something in his eyes scared me as I sat down to the plate of pancakes he had set before me. They looked like the eyes of a madman, a madman obsessed with pancakes.

Okay, that wasn't necessarily true, but he was really eager about me trying pancakes for the first time. They smelled delicious, and they definitely looked quite appetizing, but I was still wary. What would they taste like? What could they possibly taste like, to make him so excited about them? I slowly lowered my fork and cut into the food, lifting it up to my mouth and chewing slowly.

It was more than delicious, like I had first thought. It was like food heaven. Which was a bad thing.

I swallowed and put down the fork, smiling up at Canada. "It's great. Almost as awesome as zhe Awesome Me!" I declared, standing from my chair and smiling cockily.

The blonde smiled uncertainly back, confusion in his vivid violet eyes. "Why don't you finish them?" he asked, picking up the plate and offering it to me again.

I didn't want to feel happiness, that's why. And those definitely where cause for delight.

"Um, I… I must go to my own country! Bruder vill be angry! Auf wiedersehen!" I waved, walking out the door and sweeping away to my home, Germany's basement. I hope he didn't realize there was anything wrong. I know, pancakes aren't a big thing to get so worked up about, but anything that perfect did not belong in my life. And I wasn't just talking about the pancakes.

I felt like such a loser, like I had when I had first been starting out my Teutonic Knight life. All the locals, calling me those names and burning me, over and over again, just confirming to themselves that I was some kind of devil child because I couldn't die. Nothing could erase those times from me. Of course, this was miniscule compared to that, but it felt a lot alike. My cover was slipping, and I needed to rebuild it.

+Canada POV+

As he hurriedly left, I decided to casually finish off his pancakes, wondering why he was making excuses again. Yes, we had just barely met, so I assumed he had secrets he didn't want to share, and I understood. I felt like I myself was a secret nobody knew. But why not just say he had to leave? And why, when he swallowed, did he look like he was in pain? Had he been choking?

I shrugged. He seemed fine now. I set the cleaned plate next to the sink and pushed up my glasses, going to the sitting room to watch some French television or something before I had to work on the tons of paperwork in my office. Responsibility got boring after a while, and- mon dieu, I just sounded like Alfred. I shook my head and sighed, turning off the TV and climbing the stairs to my office, swearing silently to myself that I would never repeat that sentence ever again. I looked out the window, staring out at the snowy landscape and the bare trees with drooping branches. The white reminded me strongly of Prussia's hair, and the setting sun was the same color as his eyes. When I had mentioned his hair color earlier, though, he had looked so sad, if only for a split second.

I was, if I do say so myself, an expert at facial expressions. All that time being ignored had left me with long hours of just studying people's faces, the way their mouths moved, the sudden and quick shifting of eyes, the twitch of their cheeks. I could read it, even when they tried to hide it, and it always made me wish I could reach out to them, but I couldn't. I was invisible to most of them.

Prussia had been distracted when I mentioned his hair, and a shadow had come over his usually bright red eyes, but the rest of his face had betrayed nothing. How long had he been like that? How long had he been able to perfect his mask? I wonder if I could learn a thing or two from him… although, it wouldn't matter… nobody could see me anyway.

I returned to my paperwork, internally groaning at the amount I had to complete. Why was I stuck with this? The least my citizens could do was try to handle these things themselves. And there I went, sounding like my brother again. I hated it when I did that, it just proved to me how unnoticeable I was, because I was just like him. Exactly, and that's why no one cared to tell us apart. It was depressing, really.

The night grew longer as I sat at my desk, scribbling on documents and official papers, but thinking about something else entirely. I wanted to help Prussia, but it felt to me like he would never accept that help.

And who said he needed it from me anyway?

+Prussia POV+

Silence engulfed the house, and I stared up at the ceiling, feeling like I should make some noise, but not being in the mood. Again.

Bruder had gotten home a bit earlier, and he seemed as fine as he usually did, so I assumed he hadn't found out about Italy yet. The question still plagued my mind about the brunette, but I cast it aside, knowing it was my fault and not wanting to acknowledge it.

As I was unusually deep in thought, I heard a knock at my door. "Ja, who has come to see zhe Awesome Me?" I asked, trying to clear my throat at the same time I asked loudly.

"Bruder, Spain and France have come to… see you." West said through the door. I opened said door with a loud bang, grinning mischievously at the mention of my best friends. Well, that's what it looked like. Inside, I was dreading another night of endless flirting and fake smiles, of drinks and long conversations about trivial things.

I bounded up the stairs and burst into the sitting room, where they were waiting, and embraced them both tightly at the same time, almost knocking Toni over. We laughed, and Francis led the way out into the street, talking about a new club he wanted to go to and all the girls (and guys) he wanted to hit on. I just smiled and laughed loudly, as I always did, especially when Toni tripped and Francis took that opportunity to flirt with him in a not-so-discreet way. How could they act this way, when Toni had a boyfriend, and Francis… yeah, never mind.

We arrived at the club the blonde had mentioned, and I internally groaned. The lights were bright and bold, the music was loud and pounding, and the girls… well, let me just say that Hungary wore more when she went swimming than the amount of clothing they had on.

"Dios mio, Francey-pants, this is huge!" Spain said in awe, looking at the nightclub and grinning lopsidedly. I agreed. The two grabbed my hands and pulled me in, all of us laughing in the strange ways we had developed.

So I plunged right in, as I always, always did, ready to face whatever came my way.

Another mistake to go on my long list.

**A/N: Hey guys! Yeah, the beginning is very exaggerated, but pancakes make people very happy! And happiness is not something Prussia wants! Besides, I was out of ideas... Anyway, I do hope you liked it, the next chapter might take a while, but hang in there please! Love you!**


	4. Chapter 4

+Prussia POV+

The music blared and the light bouncing of glass practically blinded me. I looked over to where Francis was hitting on some girl he had just met, and Toni was standing by, laughing and encouraging the other. I shook my head, forcing out an obnoxious smile as a girl came over to sit by me. She was wearing a tantalizing short skirt and a glittery, skin-tight, sleeveless top. She leaned forward and grinned, like a feral cat.

I leaned in as well, noticing my Spaniard friend watching. "Vell, hello zhere. Might I ask your name?" I asked, resting my chin on my hand and lowering my eyelids.

She giggled. "It's Michelle. But please, call me Michie." she purred. Literally, it sounded as if she was purring. My original impression of a cat was becoming more and more obvious. "And I can hear that you're foreign. What accent is that?"

"Prussian." I could see she didn't care about what accent it was, and probably didn't even hear the answer.

"Mm."

She said it like she wanted it to eat me, but I was really uninterested. I had flirted with much sexier woman, and woman who were more experienced than she, and still wanted nothing to do with them. She opened her mouth to say something again, but suddenly, I was saved by some guy.

"Michie, what are you doing? You came here with me, so let's dance!" he demanded, his hand on her shoulder.

She sighed. "All right." She winked at me one last time before she left with the stranger, and I almost sighed in relief. She had been so bad at flirting, it was almost painful. Toni came over, still smiling just as he always did, and plopped into the seat Michie had seconds before occupied.

"Amigo, you just let that girl go!" he said, watching me closely. His olive green eyes donned a worried expression. "Hey, what's wrong?"

I smiled. "Nozhing! She vas not my type, zhat's all! Kesesese."

Toni shook his head. "You don't like it here, do you? Demasiado ruidoso, si?"

I kept the grin painted to my face. "Nein, zhis is my kind of party! And Francis is having lots of fun!" I tried steering the direction away from me, nodding towards the Frenchman who currently had his arm around some guy neither of us had seen before.

"Yeah, he is! Wonder who that guy- Hey, we were talking about you!" he puffed up his cheeks and crossed his arms over his chest in indignation. Man, he was being persistent.

I sighed. Fine. "Nein, I don't like zhis place." There, I hope he was happy. I wasn't saying anything more than that.

"Me neither." What? Then why did he come? "I always feel bad for leaving my Lovi-chan, and too many chicas trying to flirt with me… I come because Francis is one of my best amigos. And because Spain is the country of passion." He smiled and winked at me, and my grin was real this time. Same old Antonio. You think he actually has something deep to say, and then he goes and makes it some shallow remark.

"Should ve stay? You vant to leave, right?"

"We can't leave Francey-Pants!" The look on Toni's face showed that it would be the end of the world if he ever left his best friend behind. I held up my pale hands in surrender.

"You're right, sorry." I chuckled, looking back at the blonde across the room. He was still talking to the same guy with an easy smile on his lips- but his eyes were turned towards us, confusion evident in the seas of blue. I just shook my head and motioned towards the guy, raising my eyebrows. His eyes grew softer and he turned back, assured by my gesture.

He didn't need to know any more than he already did.

+Canada POV+

I stretched and yawned, wondering where Papa was. He had said he might stop by, so… oh, that was probably it. He was out getting drunk again, and wanted a place to stay. I didn't mind much, since he was usually the only person who ever came to see me, except-

The doorbell rang, cutting off my thoughts. I grew excited. It was him, the other living human being who dropped by. I rushed to the door and flung it open, revealing the familiar face.

The pizza guy!

"Hello, Mr. Williams. That'll be $17.79." he smiled, handing me the box and holding out his other hand.

"Here you go. Thank you."

He tipped his hat. "Beautiful weather, eh?"

I nodded. We had known each other for a long time, he and I.

"The snow fell a little late this year."

"That's not necessarily a bad thing." he laughed, turning away. I waved and closed the door, opening the box and sniffing. They hadn't forgotten the maple syrup this time! Content, I went to sit at the table, taking out a plate and grabbing a slice of the heavenly pizza. I decided to save some for Papa when he stopped by, maybe give him some after he got over his hangover.

Actually, it was Papa, he didn't get hung over that often… so maybe I'd eat just one more piece…

Happily munching on the slice a few minutes later, I settled down to read a book, probably a history of Canada. It was funny to see how the human historians depicted everything I had gone through.

The doorbell sounded, and I looked up, startled. Must be Papa.

The door opened without me having to get up. He knew he was welcomed here, so just walked in most of them time. I didn't know why he even bothered to ring the doorbell anymore. His blonde head appeared, and he smiled at me, winking. I smiled a small smile back.

"Bonjour, Papa."

"Bonjour, Matthieu. I have brought some others, is that okay?"

"Yes, of course." I stood, wondering who the 'others' were. In came a brunette with large green eyes, who I placed as Spain, a close friend of Papa's. The next guest to come in surprised me.

He looked confused when he saw me, but instantly replaced the look with a wide grin, his red eyes erasing all evidence of the previous emotions.

"Hallo, Canada!"


	5. Chapter 5

+Prussia POV+

After we had finally been able to escape, Francis in hand, he announced that we would be stopping at 'a friends' house. I shrugged. This usually happened with Francis, so I thought nothing of it, until we reached his wanted destination.

I recognized this place. I had been here only this morning.

What were we doing at Canada's house?

I followed Toni and Francis in, looking around the front room until I saw the blonde sprawled out on a couch. He looked startled to see me, no that I could blame him. Not a lot of people wanted to see me lately.

"Hallo, Canada!" I said, grinning, remembering his name almost instantly, as if it were on the tip of my tongue the whole time. He still looked slightly surprised, but it turned to a soft smile as he ducked his head and responded.

"Bonjour, Prussia."

Francis was looking between us, a small laugh bubbling up from his throat as his blue eyes twinkled. Toni was also holding back laughter, as if this was something comical. What the heck? What was so amusing? Was Toni more drunk than I thought at first? I shook my head and looked again at the blonde, my signature lop-sided grin showing up. He smiled back shyly.

"Honhonhon, Matthieu, do have somewhere we can sleep? We're tired, oui?"

"Oh, not rea-" Toni started, but Francis stopped him mid-sentence.

"Oui?" he said more forcefully, with still enough fabulosity to pass it off as just a comment. Toni nodded quickly, biting his lip.

"Si, amigo. But Lovi-"

"Anywhere, Matthieu?"

Canada sighed and nodded, getting up from the couch and leading the way into a spare bedroom. Whatever those two were planning, he obviously didn't want it to happen in his living room. I bit my lip to stop the growing smile and followed, not wanting to be alone.

+Canada POV+

I knew that Papa wasn't planning anything too bad… it didn't show on his face. But whatever he was going to do, I didn't want to be a part of it. So I showed him to the guest room and left him alone with Spain so they could talk or whatever else. Prussia was standing awkwardly in the middle of the hallway, and I smiled, wondering why his red eyes looked so captivating.

"Do you need a room too? Are you drunk at all…?" I asked, making precautions. He looked a bit startled.

"Nein, nein, I had only one zhing to drink… and it vasn't zhat strong, so…" his snow-colored hair covered his face as he looked down, as if sheepish. But wasn't he the 'awesome' one?

I shrugged and walked back toward the living room, not really caring where he went or what he did, as long as he steered clear of my bedroom. Papa had 'friends' come over all the time, so I was used to having near-strangers here.

He followed me, which was fine, and sat down next to me on the sofa as I picked the earlier-mentioned book back up and started reading. I couldn't help but look over his way a few times, trying to figure him out. He had usually seemed so lively when I saw him from afar, but now, he was subdued and quiet, his red eyes showing something deeper than I had seen before. I wondered what was going on through his head, and if it was anything like what was going on in mine.

My head was filled with thoughts of recognition and sadness that sometimes, even my own brother couldn't see me. I didn't know what I had done to deserve my loneliness, but with Papa as the only one even remotely considered as a friend, it was starting to sink in that maybe I had no hope. And yet as long as my country needed me, I would be there. I would always stay strong, no matter what the others saw- or didn't see.

As the night grew darker, I found my eyelids heavy. I forced them to stay open, in fear of falling asleep on Prussia's shoulder, but to no avail. I eventually fell asleep, with the albino still by my side, silent.

+Prussia POV+

I could tell he was about to fall asleep, and I didn't want to be the reason he kept himself awake, but I didn't want to walk in on whatever Toni and Francis were doing… I sighed quietly, sitting up a little straighter. Canada shook his head once again, and I bit my lip, wishing he would stop worrying about me- if that's what he was doing. Maybe he was just worried that the other two would trash his house if he submitted to the unconsciousness that fought so hard to claim him. I didn't blame him, if that was truly the reason.

Another yawn, a stifled sigh, and suddenly, an extra weight found a place on my shoulder. What the heck? I glanced down, startled, and saw the blonde, fast asleep and comfortable on my arm. What should I do? I didn't want to be That Guy, the one pervert who let younger kids sleep next to him just to watch them. I definitely was not watching him, but Francis was still here, and if he walked in, it could mean a future of me being That Guy. Crap.

As preoccupied as I was, it was no surprise that I didn't hear the small squeak of the floorboards behind me, or the almost silent, rapid-fire Spanish that accompanied it.

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry for not updating in Forever, but... high school and shi- stuff. Anyway, thanks for reading, I hope it wasn't as crappy as I thought it was! Bye~~**


	6. Chapter 6

+Spain POV+

We had talked for almost an hour, and we knew what we had to do. We were the Bad Touch Trio, and it was our job to spread love to the world… literally. And why not start with our best friend and Francey's son? Oh wow, that sounded dirtier than I thought. Don't take it like that.

I decided I could explain to Lovi the next morning why I wasn't home, he would understand. I hope.

We snuck around the wall corners, watching the two, and of course we didn't miss a beat as soon as they fell asleep. Sneaking out from behind the wall, Francis smirked and pointed at the albino's head, which had finally given up and flopped down to rest on the blonde's. I had to admit, it was all kinds of adorable. Discreetly snapping a few pictures with my phone, I pocketed the device and smiled as Francis observed the scene. He looked around and spotted what appeared to be a rope of some sort…

Why Canada had something like that, I'll never know.

Maybe to tie up that bear of his. Or something like that.

He picked up the rope and smiled, brushing away a few proud tears. About what, I have no idea. I'm just Spain. I can't read a Frenchman's mind. It's impossible.

Prussia stirred, looking up through bleary eyes at me. I smiled and waved, and he gave me a confused half-grin, probably not even comprehending where he was. It was funny to see him so off guard as he drifted back to his (no doubt) sweet dreams. What a cute little couple these two made, all cuddled up and unaware together.

Francis motioned me over, grinning slyly, miming tying the rope around someone's body and lifting them up. I nodded, not really understanding, but deciding to go along with it anyway. The rope was tossed and caught, but it took me a few seconds to fully realize that he meant 'tie up Canada'.

...Okay. Whatever he wanted to do.

+Canada POV+

I was dreaming, I knew that much. But It was still terrifying. It scared me. I wanted it to end. But when had I ever gotten what I wanted?

It was blurry at first. Blurry and hazed, like a window on a rainy day. My mistake, in the dream, was looking through the window. I saw my brother. Alfred. He was waiting, it seemed, for someone. Or something; I didn't know.

He saw someone and waved. Straining my eyes, the vision became clearer, more in focus.

Alfred was waving to me.

Someone who looked just like me was walking across the pavement towards Al, smiling blankly, his eyes wide and white. I shivered, biting my lip. At least, that's what it felt like. The two outside the window were talking, Alfred energetic as always, the doppelganger me just nodding and smiling like a puppet. I realized I couldn't move my head from my side of the window as I tried to follow his movements.

The sun was setting. Al's shadow grew longer, but the creepy me didn't have a shadow. Al's completely overtook him, and it looked like he wasn't there anymore.

Looking closer, I saw that he wasn't. Alfred's shadow had swallowed him.

I tried to open my mouth, tried to say something, but I couldn't. I focused on the window, my reflection, and saw not my own face, but my brother's.

Alfred had taken me over.

+Prussia POV+

I woke up because of the coldness my side felt, contrary to the warmth it had felt earlier. I opened my eyes blearily, rubbing them to wakefulness, looking around and wondering why my house looked so different. When did the basement get so nice?

Then I remembered.

Stupid club, France's son's house, Canada…

Mein Gott, where was Canada?

I got up and stretched, thinking he was probably in the kitchen, maybe making those delicious pancake things. I wandered toward the hallway, veering towards said kitchen, thinking to surprise the blonde.

No such luck, because he wasn't even in there.

Shrugging, I stepped out and up, headed to Francis and Toni's room they had shared last night; I could ask them if they had seen Canada. Probably not, since they were most likely still asleep, but it was worth a shot.

On the way, I knocked on the bathroom's door. No answer.

Reaching my destination, I opened the door, preparing a mocking grin, but there was no need. The two weren't in the bed, or the room in general.

Was I alone in this house?

Huh, that would explain why it was so eerily quiet.

+Canada POV+

A cold sweat greeted my skin when I woke up with a start, breathing heavily and actually, physically biting my lip. I looked over, to where Prussia had fallen asleep last night, and saw only emptiness. Gray emptiness.

Oh maple.

I moved to stand from my seat, only to discover that I was tied to a chair. Why was I tied to a chair? Who would tie and innocent, unnoticeable person in a chair? Who does that? I tested my bonds, feeling them between my fingers, which took a lot of effort considering my arms were tied to my body, then wiggling to loosen them, as they weren't that tight or sturdy.

Who ties someone to a chair, then doesn't even tie them correctly? Was this a joke? Or…

Then Papa walked in.

Oh, of course.

Why not?

+France POV+

The cameras I had installed in Matthieu's house showed a stricken Gilbert, obviously wondering where his dear Canada had gone. Oh, how happy I was that he had found someone, even if it was my baby boy. I had noticed that Gil had been a little down lately, even if he didn't think I knew. I mean, we were friends. Friends with questionable benefits.

And about the cameras: It's not creepy because it's out of worry.

As Gilbert walked through the hallways of Matthieu's household, occasionally knocking on doors, I stood, waving over Antonio so he could monitor the cameras.

I had to check on my charming son, who was currently tied to a chair and no doubt pining for his albino lover.

If they had even gone that far, which they better not have without telling me.

**A/N: Hey! Sorry for the wait, I've been a very bad writer and stalled the story. I'll try harder for next chapter... Thank you for reading, though, i hope this chapter was worth your time! See you!**


	7. Chapter 7

+Prussia POV+

I supposed they just left me. Time to go home. I walked out the door, shrugging on the jacket I had arrived in. I wondered if France would miss his car for a few hours, decided he wouldn't, and climbed in, taking the key from the glove-box. As I drove, the thought vaguely crawled into my mind that they hadn't woken me up and probably were just fed up with me.

Honestly? I couldn't blame them.

+France POV+

What the hell was he doing? Was he driving home? Non! Not right! Your darling has been kidnapped! I sighed. Why was I friends with him when he just _drives home_? I shook my head, deciding that I had maybe not done things right (for the first time in my life since loving Arthur). I rubbed my left temple and walked out of the monitor room, going to the room where Matthieu was sitting (untied).

"Bonjour, Mattie."

"Bonjour, Papa. Can I go home now?"

I sighed. "Oui. You can." I added a few insults shot to Gilbert under my breath, watching as Matthieu stood up and smiled.

"Well, thank you for the wine, Papa. I'll be saving it for a special occasion… or something." He smiled as he walked out, waving.

Perhaps I had been mistaken. Were they not… attracted to each other?

+Canada POV+

I walked home hurriedly, half-hoping Prussia would still be there, just because I needed someone to see other than Papa, who refused to explain that whole fake kidnapping back there. Maple, Frenchmen were becoming so… weird? Creepy? Questionable? All three? I was kind of glad I was independant these days, to be honest. Well, except Montreal. They were a little stuck.

The door to my house was slightly ajar, and I walked in, to see-

Nothing. Nothing was out of the ordinary, or out of place, or anything. The blanket from last night was folded neatly and placed directly in the center of the couch. Very exact. I didn't know the Prussian had it in him. Obviously he was not as loud and overbearing as his friends, one of which was very unfortunately related to me.

As I picked up the blanket, a silver chain fell out, a small iron cross dangling from the end. I picked it up and examined it as I put the blanket in the hallway closet and realized that it was the necklace Prussia wore. Maybe he would come back for it. If he didn't come in an hour, I could drive to his place and give it to him.

I placed the necklace next to my car keys and walked into the kitchen to start cooking. Heaven knows I needed some pancakes, and quick. Kidnapping was not a light matter, not to mention exhausting. Maple, what was Papa even trying to accomplish?

I glanced over at the necklace, awaiting its owner's return, and wished Prussia would come to get it soon. I blushed at the thought. I wouldn't deny it, though, that I wanted to see him again, although it had only been less than a day. I sensed something in him that was a lot like me; somewhat lonely and not knowing what to do with himself. Even more, I sensed something in myself when he was around. A subtle shift, in my heartbeat and in my frame of mind. To be honest, it freaked me out a bit. I had never had that happen to me before.

I went back to making my pancakes, sitting at the wooden table to eat them and casting glances at the iron cross, waiting.

+Prussia POV+

I shrugged off the clothes I had been wearing since yesterday, pulling on a pair of simple jeans and a tank top, walking upstairs to get somethin to eat. I knew West had a meeting with his Boss soon, so he wouldn't be in the kitchen. To my surprise, though, Italy was there, stirring a pot of spaghetti, some potatoes cut up in a bowl on the side. "Ah, guten tag, Italia!" I yelled out, waving, excessively energetic about it. He turned and smiled, a smile I knew was forced.

"Ciao, Prussia! I'm making some pasta! Want some?" He asked, holding out a spoonful. I shook my head, aiming my hand instead towards the bowl of potatoes. His head instinctively followed the movement, his brown eyes narrowing into a glare as I grabbed a handful. I withdrew my arms quickly, gulping nervously, all too aware of this awkward situation. I was the one who had to tell him about his young lover's death, after all. I was the reason the poor guy had to go through so much. I could've saved Holy Rome, but I was powerless to do so. What kind of person did that make me? A bad one. A terrible one. A worthless one. I couldn't even make one small kid happy.

I retreated to my basement, taking off my tank top and reaching for my Iron Cross necklace so I could put a proper shirt on.

Only problem was, it wasn't where it was supposed to be. It wasn't resting where it usually did, at the base of my neck, and it wasn't anywhere around there. It wasn't on the floor, or the stairs, or in France's car, or on the surrounding driveway. Mein Gott, I had lost my Iron Cross.

Maybe it was back at Canada's place. It might've fallen off while I was sleeping or something like that. I got into Francis's red Citroen DS, turning the keys in the ignition and driving off towards the cold country of Canada.

I arrived a few minutes before I should have. Yes, I sped; I was over the speed limit in more than just a few countries. I do not regret it.

I heard the soft footsteps of the blonde coming to the door, and as he opened it, he smiled, then proceeded to turn red.

"Vhat?" I asked. Was he sick? How, so suddenly?

"Prussia, you… you're not wearing a shirt." he said, gesturing towards my bare chest. I looked down, and realized that my miles per hour might not have been the only reason cops had been after me.

"Canada, could you let me in before I get arrested?" I asked, smiling up at the Canadian man. He sighed and stepped aside, closing the door and reaching around me to a set of hooks on the wall.

"Here, your necklace." he said, smiling, his violet eyes looking up at me behind his glasses. "You want some pancakes before you leave?"

How could I refuse?

**A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in so long! I can't get on the internet as much as I used to, so it'll still be a while until the next chapter! **


	8. Chapter 8

+Canada POV+

He practically inhaled the first serving of pancakes I set before him, and before I knew it, he was asking for seconds. Had he eaten at all today? I glanced at the clock, reading 1:37. It had been around fifteen minutes since Prussia had first gotten here. I sat back and watched him eat, only half-finished with my plate. He looked loose when he ate, like he forgot any masks or lies he had ever lived, and just enjoyed the food. It looked like he was happiest like this.

That was dumb. It was just eating. What did that have to do with anything? I scoffed at myself, shaking my head and finishing my pancakes hurriedly.

"Hey, Canada, zhanks for zhe pancakes, I-" he was cut off, and I looked up to see why. There was a small bird perching on his head that he seemed surprised to see there. "Gilbird! When did you get here?" The tiny yellow blob chirped once and fluttered over to me, landing on my head and snuggling into the waves of my hair.

"Maple!" I exclaimed, unaccustomed to having a bird nesting on my head. Prussia laughed.

"Aw, he likes you!" he said as he reached over to take the bird. Gilbird hopped away, avoiding his hands and hiding behind my curl. The look on the Prussian's face was the perfect example of betrayal, and I felt the need to take a picture, but I couldn't move for fear of the precious yellow baby on my head falling off and dying on my hardwood floor. I reached up and gave the bird back to Prussia, grinning.

"He… likes you more than me…" the red-eyed man was stunned, seemingly speechless. I laughed.

"I guess birds love me. My country's not nearly as polluted as the rest of the world, after all."

"Keep dreaming. You're right above USA, Birdie." he muttered. I couldn't argue.

After Gilbird fell asleep on Prussia's shoulder (a picturesque scene), and Prussia exhausted my supply of syrup, the Germanic country declared it was time for him to go home.

"Finally." I laughed, smiling at him, showing him it was a joke. I sensed he might not have picked that up right away.

He laughed along, loudly, boisterous as always, but his smile was a bit more real, substantial. I was glad I was the reason it was that way.

After we waved goodbye on my doorstep, I turned just in time to see the glint of a glass lense disappear into the green bushes lining my driveway. What was that?

+Prussia POV+

I knew it was a joke, but it sent a jolt through my chest nonetheless. I shook it off, seeking reassurance from Canada's smile and finding it easily. To be honest, I could definitely see myself falling for that smile. Haha, just kidding. Maybe.

We said our goodbyes, and I walked off, feeling better than I had in a long while. Decades, probably. Was it okay to feel like this? Was it alright to let myself smile? I couldn't put my finger on a singular reason, but I felt like it would be okay for a little while. Just those few hours with someone who made me happy, when I could forget all the little things that force me to face reality. Facing the fact that I was at fault for everything poor Italy had to go through, that I had lost a little brother, that I had let friends and family down, that I had been alienated by my own people, that I was fading from memories around the world; if I could leave all that behind for even a couple of seconds, I might be a brighter person, someone who could live up to my name of 'obnoxious'. Or, more accurately, 'awesome'. Ha.

I arrived at Bruder's driveway, reminding myself to give France his car back tomorrow morning. It was around five at night, and I just wanted to retreat back to my basement for today and not resurface until after a good night's sleep, hopefully free of nightmares filled with screaming, sometimes my own, sometimes others'. Aw yes, sweet dreams.

Reaching down once again to take my shirt off, I realized that I had never put one on. I had been shirtless the whole time at Canada's place. I wondered if he had chosen to ignore it, or had secretly enjoyed it, taking after his papa. I shrugged and sunk down into my pillow, hearing the soft voices of a happy Italian and a disciplinary stick-in-the-mud German, saying farewell for the night. I supposed they had finished their training for the night.

I closed my eyes and almost immediately the black of my eyelids grew blurry and I was pulled fast and deep into the land of sleep.

I woke up to the sound of rain and cursing.

"Gott verdammt, Italia! That's not what baking sheets are for!"

Another normal day, I supposed.

A knock at the door interrupted the yelling and I dragged myself out of bed to throw on some clothes and answer it. West beat me to it, but that was fine with me. I was still stumbling up the stairs when my name was called.

"Bruder, it's Spain! Get up here!"

**A/N: Sort of a rambling chapter, not very good, but I wanted to update something, so here we go! I hope it's good enough for the wonderful people actually reading this! **


	9. Chapter 9

+Spain POV+

I was in a bad spot with Lovi, and he wanted to be alone for a bit. I knew I shouldn't have left, since that might make things worse, but I wanted to give him some space. I figured I could check up on Gil while I was out, so that's what I did. I was worried about him, since he was a bit spacey the other night.

He came to the door in a half-buttoned shirt and black jeans, running his hand through his hair, smiling warmly with ice in his red eyes. "Hey Toni, what's up?"

"Hey, Gil! Lovi kicked me out, so I came to hang out with you!" I said, grinning, putting an arm around him and stepping into the house with a bounce in my step. He laughed and stepped aside so I could enter the front room, where Lovi's brother sat, poking a dented baking sheet. What the heck was that about?

I moved to sit down on the sofa next to him, but he quickly got up and skipped to the kitchen, asking Germany something about cooking sausage. Those two were a strange couple. And don't tell me they weren't a couple; you can't fool the country of passion, even if they weren't together quite yet.

Gil planted himself next to me on the soft, plush couch, leaning back and yawning. "So, what's up? I just woke up."

I laughed and launched into a story about some bella I had met the other day, who tried to give me a pregnant cat named Ticklebutt. The woman couldn't speak a lick of Spanish, Italian, or English, so I didn't really know what she was saying, but I picked up 'Ticklebutt' quite a few times. I just guessed that was the cat's name.

Gil seemed to cheer up by the end, and after a breakfast of sausage, and then a different variety of sausage with hashbrowns, I decided my work here was done and I should be on my way. "Adios, I'm going home to Lovi now! Bye-bye, Gil!"

"See you, Toni!"

+Canada POV+

It was almost noon when I woke up. I glanced at the clock, still bleary-eyed, and almost hurt myself by sitting up too fast as I realized what time it was. "Maple!"

I jumped out of bed and hurried to get my clothes on, running up the stairs and quickly making some pancakes before collapsing on the couch and deciding I had done enough that morning. I felt like I had something important to do, but I couldn't remember, no matter how hard I thought. Oh well. These pancakes needed more syrup.

A knock at my door alerted me of my brother's presence as he let himself him, kicking off his shoes and sprawling across the floor almost immediately.

"Hello, Alfred. What is it this time?" He only ever came over when he wanted clean water or to give back washed-up pop idols.

He lifted his head slightly, his lip trembling. "Mattiiiiiiiiie," he whined, "Arthur called me an ignorant twat, and when I didn't know what that meant, he told me that I was stupid! And that he didn't want to see my face anymore!"

I rubbed the bridge of my nose, a headache already forming. "Um, well, I'm sure he didn't mean it." I replied, backing away from the shivery lump on my tiled floor. If I said the wrong thing, he might pull out his chainsaw again. That thing was scary. My American brother looked up again, hope in his eyes.

"Really?"

"Yeah, really."

He jumped up, skipping out the door, no doubt to go see his British lover. "Well, see you at the world meeting, Bro!"

Oh maple. That's what I needed to get ready for!

I probably needed to be in uniform. I hurried upstairs to grab my coat, as Alfred said his last goodbyes to my house, and rushed in the mirror to tame my wavy hair. I really hoped I wasn't late, like the first time I went. That would be embarrassing, even if nobody could see me anyway. Oh, come on, Matthew. Don't think like that. Maybe Prussia will be there.

Wait, I had just seen him yesterday. Why would it matter if I saw him?

We weren't even that good of friends.

+Prussia POV+

"Bruder, are you coming to zhe vorld meeting?" West asked, peering into the door of my modest basement.

"Of course! Vouldn't miss it for zhe vorld! Kesesese."

West rolled his eyes, walking away and calling Italy from upstairs. I rolled off my bed and donned some nicer jeans than the ripped-up ones I had on, running up the stairs and slipping on my awesome black canvas shoes. Why not go to the world meeting? I might see Canada.

And there he was, at the front of my mind, as usual. Why did my brain immediately jump to thoughts of him, when I had the rest of the world to think of? Was it my fault, just like everything else? Was this, though, the first good thing that would happen because of me?

Wait, what would happen? What kind of conclusions am I jumping to? Knowing my luck, these simple thoughts would never amount to anything. Why should they?

I walked out the door behind Bruder, slamming the door in it's frame. He glared at me over his shoulder, ushering Italy to his car as I laughed behind the two. Everyday behaviour for obnoxious Prussia. Earlier, I had suspected Toni had been a little worried about me. No need to waste his time on me, so I had better up the act for now.

As we drove down to the World Center, the conversation up front with Italy and Bruder seemed a little less lively than usual. Was it just me? Was Italy doing okay? I didn't have any room to pry, though, so I left it alone. I could ask him about it later, but I didn't want to bother him more than I already had in his past.

Upon arriving, the first lovely lady we saw was none other than Hungary herself. She smiled at Germany and Italy, saving a sarcastic smirk for me. I stuck my tongue out childishly back. She turned away and held her head up high as she walked away with Austria. I just shrugged and turned to annoy someone else.

Hopefully, this mask would hold for a little longer. Only until I didn't need it any more.


	10. Chapter 10

+Prussia POV+

Hungary glares, Austria sniffs and looks away, West sighs and hushes me, Italy sneaks the occasional sneer in my direction, hidden by his blue sleeves… I knew all the subtle motions of the World Meetings by now. Spain and France smiled at each other, sharing some joke I had missed. Sealand snuck up behind England, startling him and causing him to drop America's hand that he had been holding under the table. Being ignored gave me plenty of time to notice things other people never saw, and that was one of those precious moments I would look back on and wish I had something like that.

But no, I didn't deserve it. Was that thought sounding repetitive? Probably. I had to remind myself so often that I was the cause of so much pain. As the Meeting dragged on, I was aware of an emptiness in my stomach. Was I hungry? Hadn't I eaten breakfast? Hm, I had. That was usually all I needed to get by for the day until, say, midnight, when I snuck to the kitchen for late-night potatoes.

I leaned over to West. "Bruder, I vant food."

"Then leave and get somezhing to eat. Don't bother me in zhe middle of a meeting."

"Bruder, let's go home, and you can make me some wurst."

"Shush, Prussia."

"Bruder, please?" I whined. He turned and glared at me.

Shush! I am in zhe middle of a Vorld Meeting and I need you to be quiet so I can concentrate. Zhis is important, and if you're not going to be respectful, then leave immediately."

I winced. That was a longer sentence than West usually said to me. I got the message. I stood up and walked out, not caring who saw me. I just didn't want them to see the water gathering at the corners of my eyes.

+Canada POV+

Even with all that rushing, I was still late. I blew my bangs out of my face as I ran to the doors of the World Centre. I really hoped Russia wasn't in my seat this time, and that I hadn't missed anything important. As I climbed the stairs to the glass front doors, I bumped into someone, stumbling backwards and apologizing.

"Oh, I'm so sorr- Prussia?"

The someone looked up. They were, in fact, Prussia, but his red eyes were red around the corners as well.

"Have you been crying?" Woah, insensitive of me. But something about him made me worry, and I had to know.

He rubbed a hand across his eyes. "No. I am zhe awesome Prussia! I do not cry!" he exclaimed, straightening up and smiling. But I could see that the smile was hesitant, fake.

"You can't hide pain from someone with so much experience, Prussia."

He stopped smiling. A pause, then suddenly I was enveloped in his strong arms. "It's just that so many things are happening right now, and it's all just heaping up on my shoulders and I don't want to be like this! I want to be able to forget things but I can't, they just keep crowding my head and won't leave me alone and I just want to be someone to someone else!"

He said it all in a rush, in words interrupted by hiccups and tears, his hands tightening against my back.

"Hush. It's okay. I'm right here. Just let it out." I sat down on the stone steps, rubbing his back, trying to comfort him the best I could. I didn't fully understand what was going on in his head, but I knew he needed somebody to be there for him. He needed me.

"Hey, you wanna talk about it?" I asked, after he had calmed down a bit. He shook his head, gritting his teeth and running a hand through his snowy hair. I nodded. I, too, didn't want to talk about it. It would be painful for both of us.

It had been a surprise, though, seeing him run through the doors like that. I never thought I would see the day when this seemingly powerful individual would lean on me to cry. I guess even the strongest people need to cry sometimes.

He was standing up, stretching his arms and taking deep breaths, ready to go. "I'm sorry. I need to go."

I watched him leave. "You can talk to me whenever you need to, Prussia. I'm willing to listen." I called to his retreating back. He looked back, surprise on his mouth. I smiled and waved, walking into the Centre, praying that my seat was still empty and that I wouldn't be stared at when I walked in.

+Prussia POV+

I didn't mean to spout off my problems like that. Wow. Okay, rewind, buddy. Everything just suddenly seemed so overwhelming. West scolding me wasn't that big of a deal, but maybe that was what set it off. Obviously, I was tiny in comparison to the entire world, but in that moment everything I had done was huge. I couldn't stop myself from crying. Mein Gott, that was so embarrassing! The thought that I had cried in front of Canada mortified me even more. Canada, the one I wanted to look strong to. The one I cared about. Gott, I was so stupid!

I took a deep breath, squaring my shoulders, and walking into the kitchen to grab something to eat, since I had been hungry at the meeting. I looked in the cabinets by the sink and bit my lip as I realized that all we had was some pancake mix and syrup.

Why those particular ingredients? Where had the potatoes gone? The sausages? The compact military biscuits? Gone. I wondered if this was a trick dreamt up by some higher power, who liked reminding of Canada and making my heart hurt.

I grabbed the pancake mix and some milk from the fridge to start making the pancakes, knowing they wouldn't possibly be as good as Canada's, made from scratch. Oh well, I'd make do.

After several failed attempts (who messed up with pancake mix?), I heard West come home and close the door loudly, collapsing on the couch with an exhausted sigh.

"West! Velcome home! How does pancakes sound?"

"Gilbert, what are going on about? It's not suppertime, why would I be eating anything? And," he started, looking angry, "why did you run out of the Meeting like that? I had to make up some story about our dogs to smooth it over with England, who was overseeing!"

I paused, staring at my hands holding the black handle of the frying pan. "Vell, I… I suddenly felt sick! I needed to get home, so…"

West looked over with concern. "Are you feeling alright now, Bruder?"

"Kesese! Nozhing can get zhe awesome Prussia down!" I exclaimed, with more conviction than I actually felt.

West turned around, shrugging, and agreed to have a pancake or two. I barely heard him, though, while my mind was racing as I decided I would take up Canada's offer and visit the chilly country.

After these delicious pancakes.

_**A/N: Sorry for the long wait, and for such a rushed chapter, too... Ha... Well, I hope you guys like it~! Till next time!**_


	11. Chapter 11

+Canada POV+

I was just throwing some clothes into the washing machine when the doorbell rang. Wondering who it could be visiting me, I walked over to open the door and peered through the peephole. I saw a white head of hair and a red sweatshirt. Ah, it was Prussia.

I unlocked the handle and opened the door, smiling as he walked in and ushering him over to the kitchen table. "Pancakes again?" I asked.

"No, I just had some."

I was suddenly offended. Did he have another pancake dealer? Who could it be? Who else made pancakes as well as I did? Okay, that was a little conceited, but still.

"Made them myself! Kesese."

Oh. That's okay, then.

"So, what's up?" I asked, straightening up some pillows on my sofa and sitting down, patting the spot next to me as an invitation for Prussia to sit down. He accepted, smiling at me and resting his arms on the back, and I pretended for a second that his arm was meant to be around me.

His voice snapped me back to reality. "So, um, earlier. You said I could talk to you anytime."

I nodded. He had obviously calmed down, and I guess he was willing to talk to me about the stuff he's been going through. Oh boy howdy, this should be fun.

"Um, vell, zhe zhing is, uh, I have a lot to talk about. Stuff I need to get off my chest."

Okay. I nodded again, scooting closer. Only to provide comfort, because I could tell what he wanted to talk about wasn't easy for him.

"So."

Ah, he was reluctant. I touched his hand as another sign of comfort. He jumped, staring at my fingers, then soon settled down and began talking.

"When I was younger, I was a stranger to my people. They were mortals, and as they grew older I stayed young, and I guess they had never seen an albino before… I was tried and executed several times but every time, I was still alive when the fire burned itself out. I was called a monster, a witch, a demon. These were the people I was suppose to protect, and I tried my best and worked hard, especially when I was a tiny country, but they continued to hate me. Time went by, you know, countries rose and fell, friends died and never came back… And when the Teutonic Knights disbanded, that was one of the lowest points in my life."

His grip tightened on my hand. I saw crystalline tears forming in his beautiful eyes. I leaned over and wiped them away, looking up at him, silently willing him to go on. He would feel so much better after holding it in for so long.

He bit his lip and continued. "B- before the disbandment, though, you know all about the war that separated Holy Rome from Italy, right? It was soon after he left to fight that he asked me to ally with him. Of course I agreed. He- he was my little brother. I couldn't protect my own brother. He died. Holy Rome died!" he sobbed, rubbing his cheeks aggressively with the palms of his hands as if to erase the memories along with the fast-flowing tears. "And then, he told me to watch over Italy. And I failed him! Italy isn't fine, he was never fine after what happened to his first love, and I couldn't help him either! I'm not a real country anymore, I'm not even a kingdom, I can't do anything to help anyone! I'm useless."

He had stopped crying so hard, but was still breathing laboriously and the stray dry whimper would escape every now and then. His hands covered his eyes.

I put my much smaller hands over his, gently removing them from his face. He looked at me; scared, hopeful. Tender. I smiled and nodded. "It's alright. You're alright. That was the past, right now you're here, and you're able to talk to me about it. It'll be alright, okay?" I reached up to stroke his cheek. That was a bold move, but for once I was the one who had been turned to for comfort. I knew the feeling of thinking no one needed me, of no one actually liking you for you.

My hand fell to his shoulder and I blushed. "Oh. I- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to touch you-"

He shook his head, his snowy hair brushing against his forehead lightly, and grabbed my arm. "Birdie."

I startled, staring down at my arm now in his possession. "Y-yes?"

"I-"

He looked like he was going to cry again. I wouldn't be able to handle that, I didn't want to see him in pain. I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his softly, my unheld fingers coming up behind his neck. He didn't respond for what seemed like the longest second of my life, but was soon kissing back, his lips now parted. We were locked in a half-embrace, my arms wrapped around his neck, his sturdy but shaking, gripping at the back of my shirt.

I was the first to break away, staring at him, in a daze. Then I immediately fell back to Earth. "Oh Maple, I don't know what I was doing, I'm so sorry, I have no idea what came over me! I'll just, um…" my voice trailed off as I backed away. Why would I think he would want something like that done to him by someone like me? I could feel my cheeks, burning and probably dark red.

Prussia just stared, his mouth still hanging open. "That-"

"No, please don't say anything, I didn't mean-"

"Thank you."

I stopped. What?

"Birdie- Canada, I love you."

Wait. What? What?

"Birdie? Are you okay?" he reached towards me, but I made no move. Did he just say he loved me? I shouldn't have kissed him. He was imagining things. I stumbled into his outstretched arms. No, no, I was supposed to stumble away. What was I doing? I'm sure my feelings for him weren't the same as his for me, that would be too good, he deserved so much better…

"I love you too…" No! No, Matthew, shut up, he doesn't really want you, stop right there, both you and him have better things to do-

And then we were kissing again. Quick, separate, happy. On his lips and his cheeks and buried in his neck. I was laughing.

Oh, I was laughing with relief. I was relieved that he loved me. I had thought no one would love me. Oh.

"I'm sorry, I came to talk to you and this is what happens." Prussia laughed. I shook my head, speechless. To be honest, I was glad things had turned out like this. An hour ago, I had only felt mildly inconvenienced because he had interrupted my laundry. Now apparently we were in love with each other. I loved him. Ah, I had always loved him. From the first time I saw his beautiful hair, like the fresh snow.

We ended up falling asleep on that couch, holding hands and smiling. I didn't have any nightmares.

**_((A/N: UGHH))_**


	12. Chapter 12

+Prussia POV+

Canada wakes up with lines imprinted on his cheeks where his glasses had dug into his face all night. He took them off almost as soon as he realized he had forgotten to the night before. He sat up, seeming to forget that he had been laying on top of me. I groaned from his weight suddenly fully distributed onto my knees, and he looked around, startled.

"Oh! Prussia! Oh maple, I'm so sorry, I completely forgot- didn't realize-"

"It's alright." I sat up and winced, because he still hadn't gotten off of my knees. "Would you mind moving?"

He jumped up. "I'm s-so sorry!" he stuttered, bending down to help me off the sofa.

"I already said s'alright." I mumbled, holding back a yawn. "Did you sleep well?"

He smiled. "The first night for a while that I didn't have any nightmares."

I smiled. Good for him. Coincidentally, I hadn't had any nightmares either. I stretched my arms and walked into the kitchen. "Can I stay over for breakfast? I always have to explain to West where I was when I'm gone overnight, like last time when I took France's car. He was so angry at me for taking another country's car. Anyway, I wanna delay the inevitable."

"Of course." came the reply, but it seemed a bit distracted.

"Birdie? You sound off." I popped my head back into the living room. He was staring off into space, a point right above the back of the sofa.

"So… Last night…" he started. Oh, here it comes. He would say it was a mistake, that he hadn't meant it, that I needed to go home right away. "Did we… confess to each other? That wasn't a dream, right?"

I could feel the tension in my shoulders. He regretted it. "Yeah… I think so…"

He let out a breath. "Thank goodness. I was suddenly so afraid that I was lying to myself about you… You know, loving me." he said the last part quietly, blushing from the tips of his ears. I stood stunned for a minute, then grinned and walked over to him.

"I'd always love you." I said, more confidently than I had felt for years, leaning down to kiss his forehead before walking back into the kitchen.

"Maple, Prussia, that's not fair!" he whined, walking in behind me. "I'm weak to your romantic charms!" He tugged on the back of my shirt, and when I turned, immediately he pressed a kiss to my collarbone. "Gotcha."

Mein Gott, I was so in love. What had I done to deserve this? Was it okay to be selfish just this once, just with him? I sighed and smiled at him, grabbing his hand for a swift two seconds, then letting go to start the stove up. "Do you have any bacon, Birdie?"

"Yeah, just in the freezer. Hold on, let me get the frying pan from the cupboard."

I could get used to this. This was the simple life of a man who just woke up with the one he loves. I could most definitely get used to it. I wasn't as unlovable as I once thought, huh? Unless Canada was taking pity on me and pretending.

I shook my head and tried not to think like that the rest of the morning.

An hour later and I was heading back to Germany's place. I hoped he wouldn't be too angry.

As I walked through the door, I heard some concerned whispering, then a snarl, then an angry Italy pushing past me and out the door. I really did hope he was okay. I reminded myself to check up on him later.

"West, I'm home~!" I proclaimed loudly, expecting a barrage of 'where have you been's and probably insults.

"Bruder," he said, poking his head out from the other room. "Do you know how worried I was? Where were you? France and Spain came looking for you last night, but I had no idea where you were! First you felt ill at the World Meeting yesterday, then you were acting strangely and even cooked some pancakes, and then you disappeared! I would have come to look for you myself, but Italy… Anyway, come into my office and explain where you were." he said it all in one militaristic breath, then went right back into the room, probably to do paperwork.

I was pleasantly surprised. He really did care. Nice surprises seemed to love popping up today.

-ONE MONTH LATER-

I didn't think it would be this early. We had technically only been together a month, but I felt like now was the right time. It had to be. I knew I was rushing, but what choice did I have? I wanted to be happy for the last stretch of my life, and Canada was the one who I could be happy with.

Oh, of course I'm still sad a lot. Stuff like that doesn't just suddenly go away because you found someone who loves you. But because I did, it's a little better than when I was alone.

I felt like I had to reassure myself. I drove past Italy's place five times before I stumbled out of the car and knocked on his door. He answered begrudgingly, his blue overcoat thrown over his shoulders and his curl askew. He changed his expression quickly when he saw it was me, and smiled softly.

"Ve?"

I flinched on the inside, knowing now that he still wasn't better, but convincing myself that there was nothing I could do for him until either he or West asked for my help. "Hm, the Awesome Me seems to have the wrong house. I was thinking that this was Birdie's place… Well, see you, Happy Italian!"

And off I went, probably leaving him confused as he closed the door and I got back into my car to drive to where I knew Birdie's place was. I was so nervous. This couldn't possibly go well.

With shaking hands and an oddly sweaty neck, I rang the doorbell and waited. It took only a few seconds for the beautiful blonde to open the door and smile his warming smile. "Gil! Come in, why the surprise visit? What's with the dress shirt? I haven't seen you wearing one since since the Queen of England's coronation!" he laughed, but stopped when I didn't join. "Gil, what's wrong?"

We were alone. In his living room. It was fine. He wouldn't make fun of me. We were in love. It would be fine. I kneeled in front of him and saw his indigo eyes widen.

"B- Birdie- Canada- Mat- Mathew, uh, Birdie… Will you maybe let me be your husband!" I blurted out, then sputtered and tried desperately to correct myself. "I mean will you marry me!" I was beet red, I just knew it.

Canada covered his beaming face with his hands. "Gil, maple, I would love to! Of course I'll let you be my husband, you dork."

I nearly fainted. Too good to be true. Being selfish sometimes did pay off in the end, huh? "Thank you so much, Birdie. Here, let me-" I stuttered as I tried to place the ring on his slim finger. I almost dropped it twice, and by the time I finally got it on, we were both laughing and couldn't stop, even when Canada bent down to kiss me, his hands on my cheeks and my arms around his waist.

Happy endings really did happen to broken people like me.

**_((A/N: i ended this one much earlier than broken smiles just so the quality wouldnt continue to lessen drastically. Thank you for reading!))_**


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